RELATIONSHIPS – HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND PIE

There is nothing better than the smell and taste of a great pie or dessert for generating a feeling of home, family and happy relationships.  I love pecan pie – but it always seems too sweet – so this combination of pecan pie and pumpkin pie is one of my favorites.  There are many versions of this on the internet – some with different layers and some mixed together.  This works just as well if you just mix everything together at once and pour into pie shell and bake.  It has both the pecans and texture of pecan pie and the spices to make it more like pumpkin pie.

CLASSIC PUMPKIN PECAN PIE

  • 3 eggs, divided
  • 1 cup canned solid pack pumpkin
  • 1 cup sugar, divided
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
  • 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
  • dash salt
  • 2/3 cup light or dark corn syrup
  • 2 tablespoons melted butter
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1 cup coarsely chopped pecans
  • 1 prepared deep dish pie crust

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350°.*If using a frozen pie crust, do not thaw; preheat a baking sheet in the oven and place the pie on the cookie sheet to bake.

In small bowl, combine one egg, pumpkin, 1/3 cup sugar, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and salt. Spread in pie crust.

In medium bowl, beat remaining two eggs slightly. Stir in corn syrup and remaining 2/3 cup sugar, the butter and vanilla; stir until well blended. Stir in pecans. Carefully spoon over pumpkin mixture.

Bake 50 to 60 minutes or until filling is set around edge. Cool pie completely on wire rack.

FROM Southernfood.com Diana Rattray

Take care of you!  Love and Light, Eve, AdvisorIsIn.com – click here for personal e-mail advice and Angel Reading – AdvisorIsIn.com/advice and angels.
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RELATIONSHIP TIPS – GETTING YOUR PARTNER’S ATTENTION

Do you feel like no one is listening – that your husband or partner never hears what you say?  I have felt like that sometimes and here are some tips I have learned for really connecting and communicating with your husband or partner.  Note – these tips are about you – because you are the only one that can change your life and increase your own happiness!

First – Make it positive.

In my experience, many women, if they looked at their communication, would be surprised to see how much of their communication is negative – accusations, sarcasm, complaints, and just generally negative comments that they would never have used with their partner before they were married or living together.  This includes non-verbal communication, as well – the silent treatment, withdrawing affection, slamming cupboards, etc.  At one time, I did this until my partner told me he wished he had not come home.   I gradually learned to do better, because I found it made me happier.  I know, I know – your partner may deserve it – and they should be doing more and your anger or negativity may seem justified!  BUT – I am writing this so YOU will be happier – these tips will make you happier!

Second – start appreciating.

I know it might be hard – but a partner who is appreciated wants to hear what you have to say and wants to please you even more!  No matter how you feel – try an experiment for a week.

  • Pause before you say anything and ask yourself if this will add to the peace and comfort you want in your home and relationship.
  • Once every day, find something (there must be some good things you are getting from this relationship?) somehow to give a sincere and heartfelt compliment or specific thank you to your partner.
  • Once every day give some physical affection, a hug, an unexpected kiss, hand squeeze or a touch in passing.

Try it, and you will find that you will have less to say, and your partner will be more receptive to what you really want to share.  You can try the free Mini-Meditation and also purchase a Mini-Meditation about Forgiveness and releasing Worry from Amazon at  AdvisorIsIn.com/Meditations

Next, – Divide your strategy

Ask yourself – Is this something my partner will want to hear?

Yep, they would want to hear it – if they only knew, they would be interested…

Strategy:

  • Find a time when he is not in the middle of something.  Men’s brains don’t allow multi-tasking like women’s do.   So don’t try to talk when he is watching his favorite game or TV show or concentrating on fixing or building something.
  • Don’t talk about important information when he is really tired or already upset.  (How many times I have tried to fix a relationship by insisting on talking when it was clearly a bad time…!)
  • Always, always talk about what YOU would like, what you need, how this or that makes you feel loved, why going there would be fun, why that would make you happy.  Good men want to please you and feel successful when you are pleased and happy.   If this is not true of your partner – you need to re-assess why you are in the relationship – but that’s another newsletter!
  • Never, never talk about what they must do or how they must do it – what they have to do, what they should do, what their mother or mother-in-law expects them to do.  Men generally resist being told what to do – even if it is a superb idea and they might have done it if they thought of it!

Nope, realistically – they will never want to hear this.

  • Ask yourself if discussing the issue will be important a year from now – if not, just let it go – don’t waste your precious time and energy on anything negative.
  • Ask yourself if talking about it will really increase your happiness or their happiness – if not, just let it go, see above.
  • Ask yourself if, even though it might get a negative reaction – is it important for your own wellbeing that you say how you feel?
  • If the issue really will be important a year from now, and you feel you must express something – Pick your time, as noted under “Yep, they would want to hear it…”
  • Pause – feelings come and go, step away for awhile, think about what you really want – to be loved, to be respected, to be treated well.  Make sure what you say will increase your chances of being loved, respected and treated well.  (I hate to think of the times I have spoiled an outing or ruined an evening by bringing up something from the past, or something that wouldn’t really matter to me when I thought about it later.)
  • When you decide what to say – Talk about you, not them i.e.  Use “I” messages – “I feel neglected when you spend all evening at the computer, is there anything we can do about that because I am feeling lonely?” Rather than “You are always on the computer, you obviously think it is more important than me or your kids!”
  • Plan to be clear and stay in the present.  Do not use idle threats, name-calling or anything for which you might later have to apologize.
  • Try what is taught in 12 Step programs – I have never heard a better way.  The slogan is – Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t say it mean.

And best wishes to you – I dare you to try these little changes and see if it does not lighten your heart and improve your relationships and communication!

Take care of you!  Love and Light, Eve, AdvisorIsIn.com – click here for personal e-mail advice and Angel Reading – AdvisorIsIn.com/advice and angels.
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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE – MY HUSBAND LEFT AND I NEED DIVINE INTERVENTION

Client Question:  My husband has left me and is having an affair – I still love him and I need divine intervention
Answer:
I am so sorry to hear that you are having trouble.  I just want to tell you a couple of things that might help you.
–You should find someone to talk to that is safe and will just listen – someone you trust that is not family and does not have loyalty to either of you.  You need someone to express your sadness, frustration, anger, or whatever – that is not your family or husband.
–You need to take the focus off of him, and do things to comfort and pamper yourself – use this as a time to be good to you – get your hair cut or colored, get your nails done, buy some small  beautiful thing just for you – go on a little trip or to visit someone that is nurturing to you. (Do this, even if you don’t feel like it – you must take good care of you!)
–No matter how you feel – treat your husband with courtesy and respect – but don’t hang onto him – take care of you.  He needs to feel that you respect and love yourself and that you will take care of yourself and can live without him.  He is comfortable with your longing and hanging on and wanting him – it makes him feel safe.
–You can tell him how you feel – how much it hurts, and how much you love him and that you want to stay together – but respect yourself – and make it clear to him that  you are going to do your best to have a good life and happiness – whether he stays or goes.
–God and the angels love you – but your husband has free will – God lets us all choose – so God will help you manage your life – but God will not take away his free will and make him stay or come back.  Sometimes we are angry at God for letting things happen or not controlling another person.  This is the free will we chose – and blaming God just make us very unhappy.  Accept that sometimes things do not appear to go our way – but in the end you may find a silver lining to the clouds.  You may not see that now – but i can tell you that you will, at some point, see the growth this has caused in your life.  If you accept the challenge, you can become a better more loving and lovable you.
You can encourage him to come back and work things out by:
–Apologizing for anything (if there is anything) you may have said or done to hurt or damage him or the relationship in the past. (Do not bring up his problems or what he has done, you do the apology or forgiveness for you alone.)
–Then make an effort to forgive your husband and let all your past hurts and anger go – ask the angels for help with this.  Write your anger and sadness out – and then tear it up and throw it away.
–Take care of you – and be the person he fell in love with – look good, dress the best you can, smell good, be kind and gentle – no matter what he has done.  Let him wonder why you are looking good.  Let him wonder what he will miss out on, if he never comes back.  And if he never comes back – you will be happy and lovely and ready for someone new.
–Make your life interesting – do what you love.  If you have been sacrificing for others – start taking better care of you.
–When you are afraid – Ask the angels to take away your fear.  They will!
–Pray for the best outcome for you both – surround your family with white light and bless yourself and your husband with love, light and pure source energy from God.  Say to God – Please take away my fear and anger – give me courage – help me be the best I can be NOW!  You can try the free Mini-Meditation and also purchase a Mini-Meditation about Forgiveness at  AdvisorIsIn.com/Meditations
–See a picture in your mind of you – in a happy relationship and thanking God – either a better relationship with your husband – a happy wonderful relationship with someone new.
No matter how dark it looks – believe that things are always working out for you – no matter what others do – you are so loved!

I want you to remember yourself from before you met your husband. You were a wonderful and loving and lovable person before you met him.  You can be that person again.   Make a decision to become the best you can be – with or without your husband.  When you choose to stay in grief and loss – you actually prevent yourself from growing and becoming the person you are meant to be.

Look toward the future – ask the angels to direct your thoughts toward you and to understand that you are important.  Why are you in the world – to have and give love and joy?
Make a list:
–Even though your husband is gone – what are you grateful for, still?
–What is good in your life?
–Give up on feeling guilty and sad – your husband has free choice and you didn’t cause his poor choices.
–Find two people everyday and give them an encouraging word – give a compliment and a smile – and you will be amazed at how much better you feel.
–Choose something everyday that makes you feel treated and valuable – a manicure, a magazine, a bubble bath – what gives you pleasure?
We attract what we are vibrating – We can be at levels
…High levels of lightness and joy
…Midlevels of love and caring
…Lower levels of sadness, grief, anger, guilt.
You cannot attract good things when you are in the low vibrations of grief, anger or sadness.
You are still the beautiful person you always were – do not let his leaving ruin your life.  Get angry at this – and vow – I will still enjoy my life!
Then you can be happy again – you will become the lovely attractive person you are again – either he will come back, or  – you will find and attract wonderful new friends and life partners.
Take care of you!Love and Light, Eve, AdvisorIsIn.com – click here for personal e-mail advice and Angel Reading – AdvisorIsIn.com/advice and angels.
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